::seeward:about::
Permanently Seeward
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About 17 years ago, shortly after I had my first powerful encounter with God, I had a series of extremely vivid dreams. I have forgotten many of the details of the dreams except the following:
I was waiting in a long line outside of what I thought was a club. There were hundreds of other people waiting in the line and I was pretty far from the front. A man in a monk's type robe, carrying a clipboard, came through the line and ushered me to the front. I was inspected by the attendants and led into the building which resembled, on the outside, an old catherdral. Once inside it looked like a very large corner store, sort of like a 7-11 but with a bit of a starbucks flavor. As I roamed the isles checking out the twinkies and various flavors of beef jerky, I noticed that there was a small stage in the far corner. The stage was set up with instruments for a band but no one was playing. I walked closer to the stage and laid down on the floor. The ceiling of the store/club/church was painted with natural looking clouds and even a little moon peeking out through the bright lights. As I laid there, the most beautiful and soaring music began to play. It was such amazing music that I didn't even look up to see if it was being played live or who was playing it. I was just enjoying it to the fullest. I remember that it was similar to early Pink Floyd with a soulful and lyrical guitar lead at the center. I don't remember many other details except that when the monk let me through the line he checked off something on his clipboard. I caught a quick glance at what was written on his paper. It was a long list of names and, when he opened the door for me to enter, he had placed a check mark
next to the name - seeward
For the next few days I had more dreams where I was referred to as seeward by either myself or other people in my dream. I even remember one where my guitar was speaking to me and, before me and my guitar got into a huge disagreement, my guitar had called me seeward.
I became convinced that these dreams and the name seeward were connected to the experience of God that I had enjoyed a few days earlier. At the time I hadn't read much of the Bible. A few years later, after I had read more of the Bible, I discovered that it was common for God to rename people after experiences with Him. (Saul had become Paul etc) It seemed to be God's way of marking a conversion or rebirth in someone's life.
Since then I have seen seeward as my spiritual name. The name for the way God sees me. Nine years ago when I started this website I registered seeward.com and have always seen this space as a collection box for the things that I am learning, searching for, creating, baffled by, inspired by or just simply things that resonate within my spirit.
I am still Christian McCabe but I am slowly learning to become seeward.
posted on:2007.01.12 13:15
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